The Voyage

     The metro in Montreal is a transit marvel of the 20th century. Constructed just before expo ‘67, the transit system is in a word beautiful. Whether or not the modernist mid century is your taste or not, it’s timeless style echo’s forward. Every single station is different yet, similar. That’s the magic of having artists and not just architects and politicians involved-they work together creating something more timeless. The expected Growth of Montreal’s population was also taken into consideration. Similar to Toronto’s subways stations built after 1996, many of Montréal’s central stations are expansive, ready to tackle whatever number of riders in the future. The 1960’s were Montréal’s shining moment on the world stage. Cemented in history as a “world of tomorrow” city, while paying great homage to the history of one of Canada’s oldest metropolises. Now, let me tell you about the mother f****** buses.

Some of the time they are not horrible. The majority of the time they are.

     Physically speaking, the busses themselves are great. They are large clean, for the most part, and well maintained. The frequency and scheduling is more of an issue. I thought that with such an expansive subterranean metro line that they would have efficient busses to fill those gaps. As the French here say, whilst shrugging their shoulders, malerheurusmant. My sympathies. You are now at the mercy of Mother Nature and her battle against the Societe pour Transport de Montréal.

     My goal isn't to convince people not to use the STM. The price and coverage of the system is excellent. As well, mass transit is one of the main ways cities can combat global warming. However it is also one of the best places to smell urine outside of a bathroom. Remember we are all in this together, but check the seat before sit, if you’ve got luck like mine there might be shit.

 In order to make your travel to New France more comfortable; I have put together my 5 tips, for surviving Montréal transit.

1. When visiting Montréal, take the train here. It is the simplest way and the most refined way to travel. It brings you centrally to Bonaventure station with a simple connection to the metro, and you are steps away from great Hotels and the Old Port. However if you are flying in, there is the 747-bus route that will bring you downtown. The trip is around 45 minutes $10---in change only. Keep your transfer. A cab will run you just shy of $40.

2. Metro over everything. If you are prompted to take buses, please avoid. The metro covers the majority of the downtown core. Utilize as much of the metro as possible. It’s clean, quick and gorgeous. Bring a camera. Some of my favourite architecture in this city is found underground. Almost every station warrants a visit.

3. PLAN AHEAD. Montréal is a beautiful city to walk through. However, I would not recommend walking the entire time, which you will be doing if you do not understand how the buses work. The short of it is they don’t. Montréal is an old city, and therefore has smaller roads. These roads are made even smaller when the annual “death by snowfall” occurs. This will significantly effect the bus arrival time when a 4 lane road becomes the battle field from Hoth*, where, instead of  ATAT’s, its white SUV’s from Outremont that do not possess turn signals. I highly recommend an app called Transit. Free from the app lands, it utilizes geo location, to give up to the second information on the buses.

*If you don’t get this reference then you haven’t seen The Empire Strikes Back. Rude.

4. Take off your damn backpack; walk to the back of the bus; do not stand in the f****** doors; do not hold conference calls on busses; respect the line, do not stand on the left of the escalator, people need to go up and down stairs, have your fare ready--- no one speaks English. Everything but the last part goes for transit in literally all cities. We’re in this together!

5. Get off a stop early to explore the city. I know I said walking is death, but when you get off that one stop before, you never know what café/bar/street musician/flashmob you might miss. Stop and smell the flowers! Our taxes put them there for a reason!

Safe travels my friends, and remember…

“ATTENTION. LE SERVICE EST EN RETARD PUR LES LIGNES: ORANGE, VERTE ET JAUNE. MERCI POUR VOTRE COMPRÈHENSION.”

We’re all in this together.

Yours in Survival,

Evan